How it all started

The question I am most frequently asked is this – how did you know you had cancer? If I had £1 for every time someone has asked me that so far, I’d be on a beach in the Maldives by now, and I probably wouldn’t come back. But sadly I didn’t ask any of these caring people for money, so I am here, in my kitchen instead, and I will kindly give the answer for free! You’re welcome 😊

I wasn’t sure whether to write a blog. I kept a blog all the way through our time in India, an account of happy times, laughter, sunshine and all things memorable, for the right reasons. But this is a totally different beast. This will not make for light reading. It may become disturbing and a bit gruesome. But I hope it will also have some humour and positivity, because those things are not only possible with a cancer diagnosis, but also essential. 

For the same reason I wrote the blog in India, I think it would be a good idea now – to keep those friends and family informed who are interested in my progress. Note I’m saying progress because I am going to make progress, of this I am determined. An account of my progress along this journey to hell and back. Because from everything I have read, when I am in the thick of treatment, it sounds as though I won’t have the energy - or perhaps ability - to talk to people and update them, and Rich will be doing both my job and his job as parents, as well as his day job, and possibly looking after me, so he is also unlikely to have much time to spare. Writing is also highly cathartic for me, a way for me to record this experience, track my journey and help me to have something to look forward to when I can say I am over the finish line. Even if no one else reads this blog, it will at least be some free therapy for me!

So this is how it all started….the first time I noticed the almost-comedy swollen tonsil… I had been out for lunch with some friends, one of whom tested positive for Covid the following day, so I thought I should also do a test, to be on the safe side. The test was negative, but I sent my friends a message asking if Covid caused swollen tonsils, as one of mine was very big. I have never suffered with tonsil problems, never had tonsillitis, so this was something new. I wasn’t even sure if what I was looking at was actually a tonsil, as I had no idea where my tonsils really were, given I had never had cause to look for them. Tonsils have always seemed somewhat pointless, especially since you can have them removed and nothing seems to happen afterwards, so I am not entirely sure what they are for. 

Either way, there was something quite large at the back of my mouth, on one side only. I wasn’t unduly concerned. I did what any self-respecting afflicted person does and I consulted Dr. Google. The instant results told me that ‘asymmetrical tonsils’ almost always mean cancer. Yikes. But tonsil cancer also has other symptoms, such as sore throat, neck lump, ear pain, fatigue, weight loss...I had none of these, therefore I definitely did NOT have cancer. Plus only 450 people in the UK get tonsil cancer each year, so it's very very rare. I considered going to my GP, but my extensive Googling had also revealed others who had a swollen tonsil who had been sent home with antibiotics. I didn't need antibiotics. I didn't have anything wrong with me. I just had this very odd-looking tonsil. It wasn’t giving me any trouble so I thought I would just wait for it to go down by itself. Failing that, I had a dental check up at the end of the month so I thought I would just mention it to my dentist, who would of course tell me it was nothing to worry about.