Bumpy night, good morning

Had an absolutely awful night last night, I just could not get to sleep. I switched the light off at 11pm and spent 3 hours tossing and turning. I tried meditation, sleep apps, restful music, ASMR, I even got my Neal’s Yard pulse point roller ball out and tried to imagine I was in a spa, but my mind was having none of it. At 2am I got up and dragged my bleary-eyed self to the nurses’ station, where I asked for promethazine. This is basically Night Nurse for those in the know, and I took some decades ago, it completely knocked me out and I slept like a baby. I wanted that again. Except they didn’t have any, so they gave me a sleeping pill instead, half the regular dose as I have never taken one, but I was willing to try anything at that stage. 

I took it at 2am and raced into bed expecting to be falling over with drowsiness before I made it to bed, but I was still lying looking at the clock at 3am and 4am. Maybe I am immune to sleeping meds?! I must have drifted off shortly after that, but then was woken up at 5.30am by the nurse coming to do my obs, and again for my meds at 6am, and then for breakfast at 7am. Remarkably I didn’t feel groggy or like a zombie, as I had expected from the tablet, but then again it would appear to have had zero effect on me and I’d say there’s a mighty good chance I would have fallen asleep by 4am even without the tablet. I probably won’t be trying that one again.

Despite the bumpy night, this morning has been positive. Firstly, I ate a WHOLE Weetabix! Drowned in milk of course to make it practically drinkable, but still. Weetabix has always been a go-to breakfast for me so that made me happy. Plus I’ve been craving proper carbs after all the yoghurts and milky drinks I’ve had to endure. On the subject of carbs, as I lay awake pondering the mysteries of the universe at 3am, I felt hungry and realised I needed to try to eat more substantial foods today. What I really fancied was hot fluffy toast slathered in melting butter. Crisp and warm and soft and salty all at the same time. Can you tell I am missing toast?! So this morning at 7am when I was rudely awakened and asked what I would like for breakfast, I instantly asked for hot buttered toast. Now, for those who know, hospital food is hardly gourmet cuisine. This is an NHS hospital and the food is NHS standard. Sadly this is not BUPA! I got toast, but standard white bread with butter, and all a bit overdone for my extremely sensitive mouth. However, it didn’t stop me from trying a few tactics to get a taste – I tried dipping the toast into a glass of milk and sucking the butter and milk (sort of worked, but I couldn’t chew it), and I also tried licking the butter straight off the toast (less successful as the crumbs made things tricky). In the end I gave up on the toast but will give it another try soon.

I also finally had my NG tube removed! Feels so good to be rid of it. My neck scar is looking pretty good too. So now just the drain left to go. My consultant said it starts off as a dark red – think of a nice Shiraz – and gets lighter and lighter and when it’s the colour of a nice rosé they can take it out. Mine currently resembles Fanta – not sure which direction that means I’m going in.