Party tricks

I really struggled to sleep last night, I seemed to have full on insomnia and sleep eluded me through most of the early hours. Despite the lack of sleep, I seem to have woken up not feeling too bad, in fact, feeling pretty determined, so I just ploughed through a whole yoghurt and a glass of water for breakfast.

The consultant came in today and said if I managed to eat my lunch and drink enough water they could potentially take out the feeding tube. I absolutely hate the tube. It sticks out of my nose, protrudes into the air and is generally in the way, not to mention I can feel it at the back of my throat when I swallow, and it also stops me being able to eat and drink normally as it’s in the way of my mouth. So I would really like to get rid of the pesky thing. However, I have been using it to take meds and that has been a godsend, but they won’t let me keep it just for meds, so I have to now learn to take those orally, which is another new challenge in itself. Trying to drink fizzing paracetamol from a cup that I can only half access is not a good start, but when I try to swallow a tiny sip the liquid streams out of my nose. It’s a pretty good party trick but one I could have done with about 25 years ago really as I’m not sure anyone would appreciate a 47 year old woman doing that at a dinner party. Not that I go to dinner parties any more either – and certainly won’t be now for some time! Not unless anyone wants the comedy of watching me spend 3 hours trying to drink a shot size cup of medication whilst tilting my head to the left and ‘chewing’ the liquid to stop it coming out of my nose. No takers? Funny that!

Had mum come to visit again today which was lovely, she patiently sat through the tedium of my lunch time. I did manage to get dressed and out for a quick walk today too. Was nice to feel human again, even if I do still have to carry around a sports bottle filled with my own blood ☹