It feels good to finally be at a point where I have fewer sessions left than I have already done. 17 down and 13 to go, so just 2.5 weeks left. Although my attitude to the amount of time left changes every minute of every day. Had you asked me this morning how long I have left, I would have said I STILL have 2.5 weeks left, but this evening, simply typing ‘Day 17’ felt positive.
It was another 4 hour car journey to and from Milton Keynes today. It is exhausting doing it every day. I fully appreciate how silly it sounds to say sitting in a car is exhausting, especially as I’m not even driving! I just sit in the back seat with my pillow and my air pods, willing the time to go faster. I can’t even tell what is radiotherapy fatigue and what is sheer boredom fatigue, but I just know I am pretty tired.
The session itself today was uneventful. I chose the song ‘abcdefu’ (clean version because I’m not allowed to choose songs with swear words – maybe the radiographers are a sensitive bunch?) by Gayle. I think I was trying to send Milton Keynes a not-very-discreet message. Seemingly, that worked well because on the way home I had a phone call to say the machine in Oxford is finally working again – hoorah! I can’t tell you how relieved I am to go back to my ‘shorter’ 2.5 hour daily journeys. Of course, it’s all relative. It reminds me of the kids book ‘A Squash and a Squeeze’ by Julia Donaldson. In the book, an old lady feels her house is too small, so she consults the wise old man who advises her to bring in a load of animals and of course the house then feels even smaller. When she gets rid of them all, her house feels huge. I think this will be how I feel tomorrow going to Oxford – suddenly that 2.5 hour journey won’t feel long at all after 4 days of travelling to Milton Keynes.
Pain has been slightly more bearable today as I am slowly getting
to grips with my new med schedule. I seemed to be okay on 30mg of codeine, but it
didn’t completely get rid of the pain, so the doctor had told me to try 60mg.
First thing this morning I popped two and spent the following three hours on an
entirely different planet – sadly not in a fun way. So I will be sticking to
30mg in future.
Ah, eating – the second part of my new, stressful, full-time job! I am still managing some foods - mostly soft foods (I'd like to say a big welcome back to the post-surgery cheese soufflĂ©!) and meal shakes, because my mouth is too dry/sore to be able to swallow anything too solid. The burning is still very much there, so mealtimes now resemble a drinking competition, but without alcohol - I am poised ready with multiple glasses of water, taking a big gulp as soon as I have swallowed the food, so the ‘fire’ doesn’t have much of a chance to burn before the water puts it out. Whilst this has the added benefit of ensuring I stay hydrated, it does mean I fill up very quickly so it’s little and often rather than three meals a day. All that said, I am pleased I can still chew and swallow at this stage and hope that I can continue to do so throughout. My neck still looks normal (not burned) and my mouth aperture (yes, that's an actual thing) is also normal - so lots to remain positive about. For now...
No comments:
Post a Comment