Tubes and drains

It has been 2 days since the operation. The surgery went smoothly, the surgeons got 2-3mm clean margins, removed a 26mm tumour and dissected my neck. My post-op recovery wasn’t great, the op finished at 1.30pm but I wasn’t moved to the ward until closer to 5.30pm because I was so sick. I think it was because they gave me so much Fentanyl, which made me nauseous. I wasn’t really fit for anything that evening other than sleep. My neck wound isn’t as bad as I expected, so that’s a positive. I am attached to so many tubes and wires – a catheter, an NG tube, 2 cannulas and a neck drain. Even though I was told about this, I hadn’t really paid any attention if I’m honest, as I didn’t know what any of it meant. But now I do! I can’t get out of bed because of all of my attachments, and the drain is a particular challenge because I’m worried I’ll forget about it and accidentally tear it out of my neck. Yuk. The NG tube is very uncomfortable and I can feel the tube at the back of my throat. I’m not using it to eat or drink just yet but it’s there in case I need it. 

Yesterday I felt okay, I tried eating and drinking but it was so hard because liquids just came straight out through my nose and there was no longer a ‘seal’ at the back of my mouth to be able to swallow, which meant I aspirated everything. The Speech and Language therapist came to see me and said my body would learn to adjust to accommodate the changes, but that was hard to hear as I couldn’t imagine how that could possibly work, not to mention how long that might take. 

The lovely anaesthetist came to see me and asked about the cat 😊

Mum and Dave also came to visit and brought me a calippo which was much needed – and something I could actually eat without aspirating.

Today though, I am feeling a lot worse. I woke up without a voice and in a lot of pain. I don’t think two days of no food or drink are helping, I love my food and I think my body needs it to be happy! I’ve been a bit tearful this morning as I felt somewhat abandoned by the team. It often seems to be the case when the staff change shift. My night nurse looks after me really well but when she leaves, there seems to be a lack of care for a while. Today they are short-staffed so I had to ask for my meds and water and, reluctantly, some Ensure via the tube as I’m not managing to eat or drink anything and I’m feeling pretty weak.

Since I asked for some help, though, I’m feeling a lot better. Mum came to visit again and brought me a magazine, although I have to say it’s hard to flick through the glossy pages looking at everyone else’s perfect lives while I’m stuck in hospital with multiple tubes hanging out of me. Maybe I should just watch disaster movies from now on so that my life seems better in comparison?!

This evening I drank some Lucozade! This is a huge step forward for me. Not only because it tastes a heck of a lot nicer than the sickly meal replacement shakes I’ve been drinking, but also because being able to drink bubbles is a first positive step towards being able to drink champagne again one day! Hoorah! I overdid it after a few sips though and had a very unpleasant experience of it fizzing out of my nose.

A very nice speech therapist came in earlier to tell me to try to tilt my head to the left to swallow (the opposite side to my surgery). This seems to work reasonably well; I’ve managed 1.5 cups of water, an Ensure shake and the Lucozade so I’m pleased with that. Eating hasn’t been as successful today, I tried some mash earlier and managed a few forkfuls but the effort enormously outweighs the benefit at this stage (and there is zero pleasure, food is purely functional for me just now while it’s all puréed and mushy). Still, today started off a bit rubbish and I had a few cries because it all felt too much, but over the course of 12 hours I feel I’ve made some real progress so that’s all positive, and those baby steps will push me forward to keep going tomorrow too.



Oh and the cat is doing well too :-)